Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Forming New Habits

Redefining one’s life takes a lot of work.  In essence, by redefining your life you are reprogramming your pattern of thoughts into something that is unfamiliar.  This has been the bulk of my struggle for the last month. 

Looking at life differently, letting go of the thought patterns that I’m familiar with and restructuring my daily life is my task at this point.  Most of my thought patterns up until now have been negative and self-deprecating.  Changing my perspective on the events that have happened in my life over the past couple of years and seeing the good in all of them, no matter how much they hurt my emotional being at the time, is a tremendous shift in my thinking. 

To give you an idea of just how tremendous of a shift I’m talking about here, allow me to explain to you my starting point in this journey.  The way I used to look at life and the events that I experienced in my life, I saw them happening to me. This left me with a sense of very little self worth.  If all of these bad things were happening to me then I must not be worth anything. Over the past couple of years, there have been several months where I contemplated suicide on a daily basis. The idea of staring down the barrel of a gun actually soothed me. 

With this shift in perspective that I have gained after taking absolute control over my life I now see those experiences as happening for me.  Each one of them has a lesson and it is completely up to me to fully grasp that lesson and use it as a tool in this life.  This newly defined life. 

I can’t promise that there will never again be another negative or self-deprecating thought, but I now know that I can use those thoughts to my advantage and learn from them.  Embrace them for what they are, look at the facts to prove or disprove them and move on. 

I’ve been told that it takes three weeks to form a new habit.  Along with continuing to shift my thoughts into new patterns, there are also five habits that I’d like to get begin melding into my new daily life.  They are meditation, writing, taking photographs, playing my guitar and going to the gym.  

Starting tomorrow and for the next three weeks these are the things that I will be doing on a daily basis in order to shape my new life.  I hereby give myself permission to take care of me, without guilt or shame, for the next three weeks. 

By integrating these habits into my daily life, I hope to, at the very least, begin to reprogram my thoughts about what my day should look like.  As an artist, it will look very different than what I have been accustomed to in the corporate world. 

As a way to hold myself accountable for doing these things daily, I will be posting daily updates here on my blog.  As always, your thoughts, suggestions, comments and encouraging words are more than welcome. 

Ready? Set? Go!

1 comment:

  1. You are making huge strides for yourself and that takes a whole lot of courage. I know it is not easy, but I also know you can do it. Congrats to you on stepping up and taking charge of your life and forming new habits that will make such a positive impact on you and your life!