There’s an image in my mind of a woman dressed in a soft, silk nighty with a flowing dark red robe that reaches only as far as her mid thighs. She answers my knock and takes me by the hand. Without a word she pulls me into her arms, closing the door behind me. Her arms wrapped around me, mine around her waist, holding tightly. Her hand cups the back of my head as she nuzzles into my neck and breathes me in. We stand in this warm embrace for a few moments. Gently, she pulls away, looks into my eyes then leans in to kiss my forehead. Without words she knows what I am feeling.
Silently she leads me down the hallway to her bathroom where a warm bath awaits. She helps me undress then reaches for a washcloth while I climb into the wonderfully warm water. Slowly my body begins to relax and release the tension that has been building for the past 40 years on this planet. All of the stress, the worry, the frustration, the anger, the pain, the unbearable fucking pain, begins to melt away.
I am tired. So tired. She knows this. In the silence she bathes me. I close my eyes and hear only the sound of the bathwater. The gentleness of her touch sends me deeper into the sense of relaxation. Tightened and tense muscles soften and grow heavy.
She finishes bathing me then leaves the room for a few minutes. Sitting in the complete silence amongst the candles and the dimness of the room, I simply breathe. A tear rolls down my cheek as even more frustration dissipates. She left because she knows I cannot cry around others and I needed more then anything to release those tears. The release exhausts me.
She returns to the room just as I’m preparing to step out of the tub. The warm towel she wraps around me smells of lavender. As I lean against the wall she gently dries me off, wraps the towel around me tightly then uses another to dry my hair. I look into her deep blue eyes and pull her close to me. Her smile is so beautiful. Her skin, so incredibly soft. She leans into me and kisses me gently.
Laying the towel across the edge of the tub, she takes hold of my hand and leads me to her bedroom. The downtown lights shine through the large windows creating a light glow in the room. Exhausted, I fall onto the bed after dropping the towel onto the floor. A moment later I feel her straddle my back. With a bit of warm oil she begins to massage my back and shoulders.
Feeling the remaining knots in my muscles begin to dissipate I begin to drift off to sleep. She lies beside me, slips her arms around me and pulls my head to her chest. Her warmth and love completely surround me as I drift off to sleep.
© Wendi Kali 2010