Thursday, January 13, 2011

Looking Back

I've been a bit quiet lately. Not just here but on the social networking sites, as well. I think it's my way of going within and figuring some things out about myself.

This afternoon I spent some time looking through my paper journal and reading through things I wrote shortly after quitting the accounting profession. Some were good, some not so good and others were sort of 'pick-me-ups'. A rally with myself to continue forward on the path. Something similar to what athletes do to 'power through' when they're tired and it's the 4th quarter and their team is down by a touchdown. Power through and don't stop until the last whistle because the game is not over until then. Never give up.

One of those writings stood out for me today. I wrote it while sitting on a bench in a park in North Portland that overlooks the Willamette River. I want to share it with you and at the same time, remind myself.

9.24.10

I am a solitary creature by nature. An introvert. One who communes with nature quite often. The soil beneath my feet, the tree standing next to me and the butterfly fluttering around me are my friends. Long-time companions who've traveled with me from one life to the next. I speak of them as if they are separate from me but they are not. We are one in the same. The same molecules of energy floating in the same space. Moving from one form to the next. Constantly changing. Always vibrating. You ground me, give me strength and keep me present in this place in time. While I sleep, my soul travels to other places, other times. Spreading love, consoling, reconciling and checking in on those I love. My energy is strong. Everyone and everything feels it, whether they know it or not. We are all one.

Finding solitude at Cathedral Park this afternoon I became witness to a new water skier. Once I got past the idea that he was floating in the Willamette I realized as I watched him try over and over again to stand up that my being witness to this event was a metaphor for exactly where I'm sitting in life right now. I watched him try over and over again to stand up as the boat revved up. Over and over again he fell until finally he did it. I could hear cheers and screams from the boat congratulating and celebrating for and with him. I could feel myself quietly celebrating for him.

It's a simple metaphor for life. Learning something new is not always going to be easy. There will be a lot of falls and set backs but with strength, focus, determination and basically a 'want' to do something you will eventually do it. Are you going to let those falls and set backs hold you down or are you going to hang in there, push past the defeats and break through to reach your goal?

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