While reading through a few blog posts this morning I came across this one over on Butch Wonders about the tension between our butch and transgender brothers and sisters. So many thoughts ran through my mind and this feeling of....I'm not even sure how I'd describe it...came over me. I had to stop my morning, open up Word and just start writing about it. I wrote a bit, stopped to enjoy some coffee and ponder it more, wrote some more, talked a bit to my girl about it, wrote some more, walked away from it then debated about whether or not to throw in my two cents. I'm really not a fan of conflict but sometimes you just need to speak your mind. So, here's me speaking my mind on this subject.
It really rubs me the wrong way when I read about the tension between the butch and transgendered communities. A part of me understands the reasoning behind both sides of the issue but why is there still a need for an ‘us’ and ‘them’ box?
What I don’t understand is the idea that we as a community want society to change their way of thinking about our community and accept us as part of society yet we, as a community, can’t seem to change our way of thinking and accept those within our own community. We’re stuck in the old ways of thinking. We’re not totally accepting of each other and are quick to put each other into a box, plaster a label on it and shun it forever more. We’re quick to say who belongs and who doesn’t based on our outdated ideas. We need to move forward! Bring along that history of us, the lessons that came from those times and move forward.
The gay alphabet has changed to include our transgendered brothers and sisters. Stop shunning them and get over your own shit. I know that sounds harsh but it’s true. It really is your own stuff to deal with and has absolutely nothing to do with them. They are as much a part of our community as we are a part of theirs. Don’t leave them behind! Bottom line, before others can accept us as just another part of society, we have to accept ourselves within our own community.
We can’t expect others to change when we can’t change ourselves. Gandhi said it best. “You must be the change you want to see in the world.”
Maybe I’m way off course here, and if so, please enlighten me but in my opinion we need to stop spending our energy tearing each other apart and focus that energy on coming together to move forward. We struggle so much in our oppression that we start to tear each other apart. That’s hasn’t ever worked for a movement and it’s never going to. The only way we’re going to move forward is together. Unified as one within the movement. Accept each others differences, embrace them and move forward.