|Photo by Michael Holden|
I've worked through a lot of my insecurities over the past year but also know that I have more work to do. I'm a bit surprised about how I'm handling things lately, this week specially, but it's all very rational and well thought out, if that makes sense.
Instead of letting my emotions take hold of me based simply on my thoughts as opposed to the facts, I'm reeling myself in, sitting myself down and focusing on the now. Focusing on the facts. Those things that I know to be true. Not things that I think up in my brain that are there to stir up my emotions and build up the walls again. I'm tired of the walls. I'm tired of turning my emotions off or being angry and bitter. I'm tired of missing what's right in front of me and enjoying the moments I am blessed with while dwelling on what 'could' happen.
Today I found myself missing her a lot and I allowed myself to feel it but I stopped myself from getting sad about it. I was able to do that by remembering the amazing journey she's on of self discovery and growth and how blessed I am to bare witness to it. Then I gave myself a pat on the back for the journey of self discovery and growth that I am on, as well.
Still, I'm counting the days until she returns. While I'm counting, I've got plenty of projects to keep me busy. Plenty of projects to help me to learn to stay in the moment.