Ask Me Anything

Feel free to ask me anything!

No, really.  Anything.

Leave a comment on this page or send me an email at wendikali@gmail.com.  I promise to keep your questions anonymous, if that's what you'd like, and you're email address will never leave my Inbox.

31 comments:

  1. Do you worry about becoming road kill riding a bike? I would love to have a bike but there's no way in hell I'd drive in anywhere but the middle of nowhere (especially not in Houston!) How do you deal with the added dangers of not having a metal body around you?

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  2. Honestly, when I first started riding it was pretty scary to think about the fact that I didn't have a metal body around me. As I gained more experience and learned to ride defensively from a class I took with Team Oregon the fear began to disappear. When I'm on my bike that's where my mind is and that's the only place my mind is. It's the only time I don't have to constantly refocus on being in the moment.

    Of course, there's always a danger of becoming road kill, specially since everyone around me in the metal bodies seem to be oblivious to everything around them, but I stay aware of that fact and ride accordingly. Bottom line, really, if it's my time to go, it's my time to go. Oddly enough, death doesn't scare me. It would suck for my friends and family but it really doesn't scare me.

    Thanks for the question!

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  3. I just read in your "about" section (Stranger) that you are a butch lesbian and comfortable in your own skin. That seems to be unusual these days. A lot of people transition to male. What do you make of that?

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  4. Er, nevermind, just read the rest of the site. Apologies!

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  5. No worries! It's a great question and I'm glad you found my answer! Thanks for spending some time here and reading my posts!

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  6. where did you get the image for identity crisis or who made for you or what company

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  7. I Googled Identity Crisis and it was in the images that came up. I don't actually have the site where I got it from. Sorry.

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  8. So where are your more recent posts? Write more poetry, you are me, I am you. Just born 10 years earlier. I am amazed that you don't have more activity on your site cause there just isn't much out there for us. Thanks for your posts, please don't stop!

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    1. I have been a bit amiss to blogging and I do apologize! I have another post brewing though so please stay tuned! Thank you so much for your encouragement! It means a lot to me!

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  9. Wendi,

    I follow your blog because I find it inspiring. Am a lesbian at the age of fifty, each and every day I live in the shadow of my life. I’m in a family that has never accepted me for who I am and a community that detested anything to do with anyone that is gays.
    I love reading your blog especially the beginning , sometime when I write I can only complete a few sentences. I know what I want to write but it is hard to express it on paper. I read them and hope that one day I will be about to share what is in my heart on paper.
    Passion

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    1. Passion,

      Thank you for your kind and beautiful words. I started this blog in the hopes that others would see that they're not alone out there and that other people feel and experience the same things that they do. Being gay in this world, heck being authentically you in this world, is not easy. All you can do is the best that you can.

      I love that you're writing and trying to get your thoughts and heart out onto paper. Keep doing it! One day you'll sit down and it'll finally just start to flow!

      Great big hugs to you, Passion!

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    2. Wendi,

      I am ready to start my blog. I would like to know if its possible to ask you a few questions.

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  10. if I can be of any help, just ask. I am Butch, legally married to my Femme wife. I am linda kinsman-saegert on FB

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    1. Awesome! Thank you so much! Would you like to participate in my photo project? I would love to have you! Please email me at wendikali(at)gmail(dot)com!

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  11. Wendi just a note here
    My friend and the community here in Fl opened me up to you and encouraged me to be more open about my authentic self. Your project and blog has inspired me. Thank you. I am working on your questionaire and will email it back soon. In the meantime I have started a blog something I didn't think of before. femmtastic.blogspot.com I would love to help as I am able, to get you going further on the project so just let us know how things are going from time to time and how we can help. thanks again for your inspiration.
    Janet

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    1. Awesome! You are so very welcome! I look forward to getting out to FL and meeting you! I'll keep you posted on my travels!

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  12. I just came across your Kickstarter page and I do have a question on how you are going to choose those that you photograph for the book?

    Thanks Pogue

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    1. Hi Pogue!

      If someone contacts me wishing to participate, the only requirement is that butch or femme is part of their identity. I have a list of questions I send to everyone wishing to participate and as soon as I get those answers back I get them on my list of places to visit!

      Basically, I'm going to include everyone who identifies as butch or femme who wishes to participate! Of course, I need to be funded in order to travel for this project so if that doesn't happen I'll have to limit the participants to those in the places I can get to.

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    2. Wendi, You are more than welcome to come to Key West and stay with me. I have a spare bedroom set up for guests. I can even take you sailing!

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  13. Wendi, I so appreciate the work/art you are dedicated to. Marcy, the woman in the green vest in one of your photos.... I would like to talk to her. Is that possible?

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    1. Email me at wendikali(at)gmail(dot)com and I'll pass your email address on to her!

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  14. What is the timeline of your travels?

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    1. Fantastic question and a great blog post to update everyone on where I am currently! Thank you for the reminder. Check the "My Blog" page to see the answer to your question. I will be posting my plans momentarily.

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  15. My question is, what do you want in life? I am just trying to understand your recent writings and if I know what you are trying achieve, then I will understand where you are right now.

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    1. Tonie, that is the million dollar question and one I need to take time for myself in order to answer. Where I am right now is in a place where I realize that I don't know who I am or what I want. All my life had been lived to others; my parents (who struggled with addiction), my son (I was a single parent for many years) and those who I chose to be in relationship with. I learned at a very young age to be someone who other's want so they'll love me. I've finally reached the point in my life where I need to stop doing that and find out who I really am. Does that make sense?

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    2. Yes that makes sense. Here is what I've learned, sometimes you just need to draw a line in the sand - Before on one side and Now on the other. Let the 'before' side just go...Live for the Now side. Put the old stuff in a box, close the lid and just take one day at at time. For me I cannot open that 'before' box and contemplate anything in there. It's depressing and does not help me in the now. We are all messed up, and what/where we came from made us that way. But we can be happy today and move forward to tomorrow. Therapist's would disagree with me, they would say you need to bring up the 'before' in order to move past it. I disagree...

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    3. That's awesome that you are able to do that. I've tried it but I always find myself back in the same old patterns so, for me, it's important to dig that past up in order to understand it and change my internal programming around it.

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  16. Since you say I can ask 'anything'...

    Will you marry me?

    I just found your blog today (has to be when you've decided to wrap it up, of course!) - very inspiring! Great photos, great wrinting! Hang in there...

    (by the way, saying Yes would involve a move to UK... :-)

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    1. What a wonderful compliment! Thank you so much! :)

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  17. I really enjoyed reading your blog, it took me many years to come out (as in a came out at 18, back in the closet, had kids, came out at 27, am now 33) and I feel I have missed out on a lot of growing into being who I am. I don't really identify as anything at the moment however in knowing who I am inside I want to build the picture on the outside rather than just drifting along in life not really sure what my identity is. I know I find the energy of butch women massively engaging and a turn on for me yet I don't really think I would identify as femme. I look very feminine yet I behave like a butch in my relationship, perhaps this is from living in the straight world for such a long time and then my first lesbian relationship being with a woman who wanted me to be femme (I had long hair at the time) so here I am looking into my own story. Thank you for sharing your story it makes it so much easier to be honest with myself when reading something you have spoken from the heart. Thank you xx

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