Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Peace And Love

Irenic: (adj) Tending to promote peace; conciliatory. 

Kelly and I learned a new word today.  Irenic.  It’s interesting to me that one letter change in the middle and you get ‘ironic’. 

Ironic: (adj) coincidental; unexpected.  Irony: (n.) the use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning. 

The weekly email that I receive from Pema Chodron this morning talked about peace, as well.  

Strangely enough, even though all beings would like to live in peace, our method for obtaining peace over the generations seems not to be very effective: we seek peace and happiness by going to war. Maybe we come home from work and we’re tired and we just want some peace; but at home all hell is breaking loose for one reason or another, and so we start yelling at people.

War begins when we harden our hearts, and we harden them easily whenever we feel uncomfortable. It’s so sad, really, because our motivation in hardening our hearts is to find some kind of ease, some kind of freedom from the distress that we’re feeling. We can do everything in our power, but war is never going to end as long as our hearts are hardened against each other.

We harden our hearts whenever we feel uncomfortable. 

This used to be the way I worked.  I hardened my heart to all things that felt good but then seemed to ‘turn bad’.  At the end of my last relationship I didn’t want to get into another.  I told myself that I could never go through that again.  The pain and the sadness that comes when you’ve realized that someone has stopped loving or wanting you or just grew separate from you is something that I didn’t ever want to feel again. 

In reality, that’s how relationships work.  We, as humans, grow through these experiences and without them we wouldn’t know the opposite of that pain and sadness; the joy and the happiness and the love that comes with being in a relationship with someone.  Whether it’s an intimate relationship or a close friendship, we grow and learn from each as they move in and out of our lives. 

What I finally figured out is that I needed to love and find peace with myself before I could expect anyone to find love and peace with me.  This is the lesson I took from all of the pain that came with past relationships that ended.  Now, I’ve found love again and couldn’t be happier about it.  I enter into this relationship feeling at peace with myself and have no fears of past pains. 

Hardening our hearts will never work.  We have to open them to find peace and to promote peace in this world.   We have to open them in order to love.


  1. Wow that's huge - and beautiful. Thank you for posting this.

  2. A beautiful perspective.

    Thank you for sharing that thought.

  3. Thank you both for reading.