However, I feel like expanding on this a bit.
I spent this morning surfing the web and came across a few sites and video blogs of Butches talking about this very subject. It’s something that I’ve thought about quite often and I imagine most straight people wonder about when they see a Butch woman. Since I came out later in life I remember wondering this same thing. Given the gender stereotypes we tend to grow up with, I guess it’s a valid question.
A few years back I spent some time thinking about how I felt about my body and whether or not I felt comfortable being me, being a woman. Was I really just trying to be a guy? Was I trans? Growing up I played with trucks and Hot Wheels, wanted to play sports that typically only guys could play, daydreamed about being the hero, the tough guy in the movies and on television. So did that mean I wanted to be a guy?
My answer was ‘no’. While it’s true that my mental picture of my body, or the body that I am working towards, looks more like a guys in the sense that I am working towards more muscle, it doesn’t mean that I actually want to be a guy. I like my body. I like being a woman. I like passing as a man. I like being able to move between genders.
I like being Butch.
Dressing in men’s clothes, having a man’s haircut, being more masculine, being a gentleman and even using binders or packing does not mean that I want to be a guy. I am a woman who is more comfortable wearing these things, doing these things and presenting as masculine. It’s a difficult dichotomy to understand.
Honestly, I think that part of it is the mystery that is me. The mystery that I create by being a Butch woman. The confusion that I create in this existence. Part of me is kind of a shit and likes to mess with people’s heads and the other part of me just wants people to wake the hell up and realize that we don’t all fit into those gender stereotypes that we grew up with. We can all move through the gender binary fluidly. Back and forth between feminine and masculine. You can be a femme one day and butch it up the next!
We are individuals with our own identity. Express it! Embrace it! Love it! Just be you.
So, I’m curious. What do you think when you see a Butch woman? If you identify as Butch, how do you feel about this? Or, even if you don’t identify as Butch, what do you think about this?