|My son working on his graphic novel idea.|
Creativity can flow through us at any moment and sometimes at the most inopportune moments, like when you're in the middle of a work shift or driving or carrying something heavy. It doesn't wait around for you to be ready to open yourself up to it. Well, maybe sometimes it does, like when you think of something and quickly write the idea down then successfully come back to it later.
Therein lies the key for me. "Successfully come back to it later." I still struggle with that part of it.
Today, while writing in my journal (yes, real pen and paper!) I connected it to the same struggle I've been dealing with most of my life. It's about doing something for myself. It feels selfish and I feel unworthy of that kind of attention. I've made it into this thing that does nothing but create loads of pressure and makes it so unenjoyable that I've lost touch with my love for doing it in the first place. Way before I did it to get attention and hope to make a little money at the same time.
Once again, my passion for anything creative has given way to trying to survive in this world and it's disappeared under the guise of how I still truly feel about myself. So much so that now, whenever creativity appears I quickly dismiss her and send her on her way.
She keeps coming back though. Gently tapping on my shoulder and whispering in my ear stories that should be written, photographs that should be taken and shapes that should be drawn. She's persistent like that and she'll keep coming back until I finally figure out that I am worthy.
When I started to think about the deeper aspect of it all I realized that we are all worthy. We are all artists. Every single one of us.
This life is our canvas.
What we do with it is our masterpiece.
What we do with it. That is what people will remember when we are long gone.