Friday, September 17, 2010

Ready? Set? Jump!

After a lot of contemplating and talking to some friends about what to do next, I’ve decided to look for temp jobs through agencies and work at those while focusing on my photography and writing.

One of the main reasons for not pursuing the wind turbine technician career at this time is my knee. It’s still recovering and until I can actually run again, it’s probably not the best idea to subject it to climbing 300-foot towers on a daily basis. I don’t want to go backwards in my recovery after everything I’ve been through to get it to where it is today. It has taken daily exercise to get my mobility back and to be able to climb stairs without assistance from the railing or a cane. Last week I was able to take the treadmill up to a slow jog at the gym so I’m getting there, but I’m just not there yet.

Another reason for choosing this route over the other is the fact that I don’t want to incur any more debt at this point. The school would cost $12,200 for the 6-month program and I would have to take all of that out in loans. While it’s true that I would be making a good living after getting hired, this is just something I am instinctively uncomfortable with. The idea of more debt weighs down on the freedom I’m feeling and wish to continue feeling.

Finally, it isn’t my passion and it isn’t what’s in my heart. It’s going back to the money chase and that’s the path I’m making a conscious effort to avoid with all of these changes.

For far too long I’ve been focusing my creative energy on my relationships. I’ve rationalized away my talent and dreams and fought the lack of self-worth within myself up until this point in my life. I have far too much potential too continue on that path.

I’ve been single now for 2 months and 13 days (yes, I’m counting and yes, I still miss her) and can absolutely and without a doubt tell you that I will remain single for quite awhile. It’s time for me to focus that energy on my creative self and see where it takes me.

To begin, I’m participating in my first art exhibition ever. Three of my photographs will be a part of the Butch Voices Conference art exhibition titled A Taste of Butch Flavor. It’s complete with an artists reception which happens at the Q Center on Thursday, September 30th and the show will run through the entire month of October there at the Center. I am excited, nervous, anxious and thrilled to be a part of this show.

Today I picked up my prints from ProPhoto Supply and they are amazing. I am so proud of them. They are now matted and framed and ready to go. This is it! I’m jumping off into the unknown again and I couldn’t be happier.

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