Tuesday, March 20, 2012
A Sense of Space
Growing up, I had a desk in the corner of my room where I spent most of my time with my headphones on and a pencil in my hand. I mostly sketched things back then. It was my own escape from the world. A safe space. Comfortable. It was my creative space.
Only recently have I realized how important that space was for me. For years I believed that I just didn't need much and for one reason or another, I haven't created or asked for this sort of space for myself over the last 7 years. While it's true that I do have my own apartment at the moment, I have given that space to my son while he transitions from being a college student to a working man. These days, I spend the majority of my time at my girlfriend's house.
Since coming to this realization, I've felt the craving for that space more and more. Even though my girl and I aren't technically moved in together (but seem to be headed that way), I sat down and asked her for what I needed. She was incredibly receptive, understanding and supportive.
Last night, the space that you see in the photo is what I came home to after work. It may seem like just a desk in a room to you but to me it's so much more than that. It's my foundation. A space to reflect and create. A safe space to let my creative process flow. It's also a space in her home for me and, as she put it in her note to me, a space in her heart.
I'll admit it right here and right now, when I saw this space all set up and welcoming, this huge wave of emotion came over me and I started to cry. "I am worthy and important enough to be given this space", were the words that traveled through my thoughts as I stood there with tears rolling down my cheeks.
To say that I am grateful feels too much like an understatement. This gesture, this space in her heart and her home touches me at my core and as I sit in the space writing this I am once again overwhelmed with emotion.
This is my space. I am home.