Tuesday, March 20, 2012

A Sense of Space

For the past few weeks I've been craving a sense of space.  A corner of the world where I can spread out and write or edit photos or sit and organize my thoughts. 

Growing up, I had a desk in the corner of my room where I spent most of my time with my headphones on and a pencil in my hand.  I mostly sketched things back then.  It was my own escape from the world.  A safe space.  Comfortable.  It was my creative space.

Only recently have I realized how important that space was for me.  For years I believed that I just didn't need much and for one reason or another, I haven't created or asked for this sort of space for myself over the last 7 years.  While it's true that I do have my own apartment at the moment, I have given that space to my son while he transitions from being a college student to a working man.  These days, I spend the majority of my time at my girlfriend's house.

Since coming to this realization, I've felt the craving for that space more and more.  Even though my girl and I aren't technically moved in together (but seem to be headed that way), I sat down and asked her for what I needed.  She was incredibly receptive, understanding and supportive. 

Last night, the space that you see in the photo is what I came home to after work.  It may seem like just a desk in a room to you but to me it's so much more than that.  It's my foundation.  A space to reflect and create.  A safe space to let my creative process flow.  It's also a space in her home for me and, as she put it in her note to me, a space in her heart. 

I'll admit it right here and right now, when I saw this space all set up and welcoming, this huge wave of emotion came over me and I started to cry.  "I am worthy and important enough to be given this space", were the words that traveled through my thoughts as I stood there with tears rolling down my cheeks.

To say that I am grateful feels too much like an understatement.  This gesture, this space in her heart and her home touches me at my core and as I sit in the space writing this I am once again overwhelmed with emotion. 

This is my space.  I am home.

4 comments:

  1. I so understand craving that creative space all your own! what a beautiful gift from your GF! love this post!

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  2. That's wonderful - made me cry to read about it too! (Also, I think you might be living together. Just sayin. LOL And she's a sweetheart.)

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    1. Ha! I think you're right! And, yes! She is most definitely a sweetheart!

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