Swimming In The Deep End

It's been six months since my last post and I am still the luckiest. I still wake up grateful every day. I still wake up feeling like I've won the lottery every day. Every single day.

I never could have imagined a love so beautiful and perfect. She is kind and loving, sweet and adventurous, smart and gorgeous. She's also real and genuine, open and honest. Her heart is stunningly beautiful and she loves me perfectly.

Never have I felt so heard and seen. To be my most vulnerable takes a tremendous amount of courage. I'm learning every day how to communicate my emotions. It's something that still feels very new to me. I can feel them but putting words to them in a way that helps someone understand them is challenging. Specially in the moment. But, she helps me.

I still struggle, at times, with that old feeling of not being "enough". Yesterday was one of those times. When I finally got the courage and found the words to tell her what was happening inside me, she stopped what she was doing and gave me her full attention. There was no judgement, no ridicule. Only kindness and understanding. Never have I felt like I mattered so much to someone. Never have I been so open.

In those times of complete openness and vulnerability, I feel like we're swimming in the deep end of this life. Those are the times where our hearts and our souls grow closer.

I'm not just lucky. I am blessed.

The Luckiest

This morning I am so incredibly grateful.

I sit here at my at my computer where I work from this beautiful home that I share with the love of my life. Outside my window are trees. Lots and lots of trees. The week that we moved here I spotted a coyote trotting down the road. I've seen deer and chipmunks and squirrels in our front and back yard. Hawks and Jays in the skies above us. Nature surrounds us completely.

I am truly blessed. Blessed to be in this beautiful space with this beautiful love that I share with her. She is one of the most loving, kind, fun and adventurous souls that I have known in this life and she loves me. She chooses me.

My heart is so full of love and so happy that it wants to leap out of my chest and smile and dance through the world.

My cheeks hurt from smiling so much. Every day.

I am the luckiest.

Thank you, Universe. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.