Fun With Stats & Lingerie

I just discovered through my blog stats that the phrase "do butches like their femmes to wear lingerie" was used in a Google search and that search somehow lead to my blog.

Let me just answer that question right here and now.  THIS butch sure does!

Anyone else want to answer it, as well?

A Little Note To Myself

Write. I need to write.  I want to write.  I have no idea what to write about. 

No.  That’s not true, Wendi. You’ve had a story or two kicking around in your brain for quite a while now.  You’re just letting life get in the way.  No.  That’s not true either.  You are afraid.  You have a fear of writing that you are doing nothing to get over.  Your first story gets published and you throw in the towel.  How can you top that, right?! 

What is it that you want to do with your writing?  Help the world?  Bring some sort of escape to those who need it?  Want it?  Tell your story?  You’ve had so many story ideas kicking around in your brain ever since you can remember.  You made stories up in your mind when you were a kid to make reality a little more bearable.  Take some time to remember those stories and just start writing.  Every. Day.  You know you want to.  You feel it aching to burst from you.  Just let it.  Allow it to happen.  Give it space and time to happen.  

You need to write in the same way you need to breathe.  Just do it.

On To The Next Chapter

My son graduated from The Art Institute of Portland this past Friday the 16^th.  I really could not be more proud of him.  Three years and one quarter after graduating from high school he has his Bachelor’s degree in a field he enjoys.  That was my goal with him.  To help him find the field of work he enjoys because if you don’t enjoy the work you do in life, life will be incredibly difficult.  I know this for a fact.  I’ve experienced far too much misery in my past work as an accountant and bookkeeper to know it as anything but the truth. 

Before my son graduated from high school he originally thought about going into mechanical engineering at Portland State University.  Then he took a pre-calculus class during his senior year and, while struggling through it, decided the engineering route may not be for him.  At that point I asked him what he liked to do and to think about finding a career that would include it.  He did some thinking about it and came back to me with the idea of going to the Art Institute for Game Art & Design. 

I still remember taking him to the Art Institute to talk to an admissions counselor.  I sat in the office with them and let him do all of the asking and talking.  While I sat there I watched him completely light up while talking about designing and animating and all of the programs that he already had experience with.  I knew in that moment that I had to figure out how to get him into that school. 

As I’ve learned in life already, loving the work you do is important.  We spend 40 hours a week, or more, making a living. Two hundred sixty days out of our year are affected by our work because a portion of those days are spent at work (if you work 5 days a week).  That only leaves 105 days out of the year for doing the things you love.  If you are unhappy those other 260 days out of the year, chances are you will be unhappy during those remaining 105 days, as well.  So, it’s important to find the work you love.  It’s, in my opinion, one of the only ways to be successful in life.

My life hasn’t been all that easy.  I spent some time in the military shortly after high school, married very young, had my son at a very young age and did my best to support both of us when I finally left his father, as I received no financial help from his father while raising our son.  I ended up working in fields I wasn’t at all interested in because I simply needed to work.  I eventually found my way to college but took classes in something that came fairly easily to me knowing I would be able to make a fare amount of money to support my son and I.  It wasn’t a field I was interested in at all.  I was in it for the convenience of it.  I did what I had to do to make sure my son had a roof over his head, clothes on his body and food in his belly.  I held on to my pride during that time and only asked for assistance from the state for food a few months out of those 18 years. 

Had I made different choices in my life things could have been different.  But, I made those choices for a reason and I sit here today about to drown in debt from not only my own college education but also my son’s and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.  I have been blessed with the lessons this life has taught me and with an amazing son who has taught me so much about life, creativity and the beauty of the human soul.  For these lessons I am eternally grateful.   

I am still searching for the work I love as I choose to put it off while I raised my son and made sure he was able to find his way in life.  Now I have the opportunity to watch him enter into this new chapter in his life.  A time that is filled with so many opportunities.  I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that he will be successful and happy in the field he has chosen.  Which, by the way, changed from Game Art & Design to Media Arts & Animation while he was going to school because he felt that he had more opportunities with the latter.  He is very smart, that one. 

I can’t wait to see what comes next for him. 

My son's animation reel!

Demo Reel - 2011 from Michael Jude Graham on Vimeo.

365.11 Autumn Full Moon Over Portland

Taken this evening from the Portland Japanese Gardens.

Synchronicity

Last night I attended a Full Moon Gathering with some wonderful women out by the Columbia River.  It's become a monthly event with this group and it was my second time celebrating the full moon with them.  The theme last night was the Goddess. 

After spending some time sitting around chatting with a few of them while my sweetie and I knitted, we spent some time down on the bank of the river enjoying the moon and each other.  It was a wonderfully peaceful and beautiful evening. 

When we walked back up to the fire pit where all of the other women were gathered, one of them had a hand full of Goddess cards that she was letting everyone choose from as a party gift type of thing.  It was dark at this point so I choose to randomly pick a card from the deck.  She feathered them out for me to choose from so I closed my eyes, put both hands over the deck and choose one.

The card that I choose is pictured above.  The Goddess Kali.  If you're not sure of the significance of this, read this post about my name. 

On the back of the card are these words: "Unleash your passion, embrace it, and revel in the power of your flesh.  Do not fear your own fierceness - affirm it and soar!  We are warriors, and through history this attribute has often scared people.  Fierce women have been given harsh names.  Shed any shame in your fierceness.  Create your call of the wild - a howl or a scream - and choose a time to free your fire." 

This blew my mind.

This is what I call the Universal Synchronistic Postal System.  It delivers all kinds of messages and reminders if you're open to it and willing to listen. 

365.10 Moon Over The Columbia

365.9 Knitting Is Exhausting