Friday, January 14, 2011

Learning To Love Myself - The Beginning

During my workout this morning I started thinking about this idea of loving myself and doing things for me.  Usually during workouts my motivation comes from thinking about being on the field and pushing forward with my team.  After thinking about that and asking myself 'why' I came to the conclusion that my workouts were for the team.  Which can be a good thing if you're playing on a team, of course.  But, what happens when you aren't or when you can't any longer?

If I'm not working out for my team, then why even bother? 

My workouts should be for me.  I should push hard and bust out that last rep for me.  Because I love and care about myself and my body and my own mental health. 

After pondering all of this I came up with the idea of taking self portraits throughout the year as a way to learn to love myself and this body I inhabit.  So, along with the letters to myself I'm going to attempt to turn the camera towards me every now and then and post those photographs here.  Being open and honest with you helps me to be open and honest with myself.  I hadn't realized this until now but this self love stuff takes a lot of courage.  A lot of courage.  Here goes. 

The first photograph I want to post is one I took back in 2008.  It's the last time I was in this dark place and trying to find my way out of it.  I think it would be good to start with this one because it reminds me of that time and the fact that I did climb out of that place. 

I've always felt that my back is the strongest part of my body.  It carries quite a bit.  Maybe this will help with letting those things go. 


  1. Yeah, friend, I hear ya. I've been working through this kind of self-love for a few years now. I've definitely changed my attitude about my body and the way I see self-improvement projects like diets, exercise programs, etc.

    Your back is strong and it's good to remember how much we carry there and the way it effects our health and attitudes.

  2. Yeah. I'm having a hard time with the idea of those diets and exercise programs. What I want doesn't match up with what they are talking about. For me, it's not about losing weight but more about gaining muscle. I want to be as big as I feel, if that makes sense. I want my body to match what I see in my head. Broad shoulders and chest with muscular arms and legs.

    So, yeah. The physical me effects the mental me.