There are days when the little me has to battle it out with the big me. It's quite literally a yelling match in my brain when this happens. The little me does nothing but belittle and find some sort of proof that I'm not worthy enough. It constantly tells me how much better I can be and that no one could really love me unless I do this or that or act a certain way or not act a certain way. That I should hide my authentic self because that self is basically a lazy pile of crap.
To fight back my big self comes back with all of the great things I have done and how kind and caring and compassionate of a person I am and that the world needs more people like me in it. She tells the little me that it's wrong and has no clue of how it really is and that I do deserve to be loved and have all that I want in life.
Days like this exhaust me. As much as I try to ignore what's happening, I just can't seem to completely. Finally I give in and focus on the battle in an attempt to come to a truce of some sort. I think today I've finally made peace between the two. At least, I hope so.
As weird as it may sound, I am grateful for days like today. They force me to find love within myself for myself which, in turn, makes me a better person.
Self love is a very good thing.